| Pages sur ce sujet: < [1 2] | Your views on these two translations Auteur du fil: kenny2006woo (X)
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nigerose 
Chine
Local time: 03:24
chinois vers anglais
+ ...
我认为分号前后是两句话，应该改成句号。不然句子太长太松散。
| | | | kenny2006woo (X)
Local time: 03:24
anglais vers chinois
AUTEUR DU FIL
我认为，这里用分号或句号都可以，呵呵。看来大家在这一点上还是有所保留。：）
| | | | betterlife
Chine
Local time: 03:24
anglais vers chinois
kenny2006woo wrote:
嗯，不过如果做独立成分的话需要加上being, 比如 being quickly-responsive （or sharp） and open-minded, he does well in independent study, ...
[Edited at 2010-07-08 03:43 GMT]
我觉得does、is和has这三个谓语连用有点奇怪，并且记得过去分词放在句中或句末时可以作为伴随状态（或许有记错。欢迎记忆力更好者再具体解释一下），所以才把它放在句尾（貌似在这个结构中，放在句中不好安排）。
如果放在句首，Being quick-responsive and open-minded,... 或者 With quick response and open mind,...都可以。
| | | | kenny2006woo (X)
Local time: 03:24
anglais vers chinois
AUTEUR DU FIL | 帮同学翻译的摘要 请大家指正 | Jul 12, 2010 |
本文阐述了高分子材料表面改性对高分子材料性能的影响，重点介绍了低温等离子处理、电火花处理、紫外辐射等几种改善高分子材料性能的表面改性方法及其应用前景。
This paper/artical presents an overview of the effects of surface modification on properties of macromolecular materials. It also provides a detailed description of the property-improving modification techniques using low-temperature plasma, electrospark, and u... See more 本文阐述了高分子材料表面改性对高分子材料性能的影响，重点介绍了低温等离子处理、电火花处理、紫外辐射等几种改善高分子材料性能的表面改性方法及其应用前景。
This paper/artical presents an overview of the effects of surface modification on properties of macromolecular materials. It also provides a detailed description of the property-improving modification techniques using low-temperature plasma, electrospark, and ultraviolet radiation. A future picture of the applications of these techniques is supplemented at the end.
Kenny
[Edited at 2010-07-12 08:01 GMT] ▲ Collapse
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kenny2006woo (X)
Local time: 03:24
anglais vers chinois
AUTEUR DU FIL | Here's a revised version | Jul 14, 2010 |
This paper/thesis presents an overview of the effects of surface modifications on certain properties of macromolecular/polymer/polymeric materials. It further provides a detailed description of the property-improving modification techniques/methods using low-temperature plasma, electrical discharge, and ultraviolet radiation. Potential future applications of these techniques are discussed.
As always, any comments are welcome.
[Edited at 2010-07-14 14:19 GMT]... See more This paper/thesis presents an overview of the effects of surface modifications on certain properties of macromolecular/polymer/polymeric materials. It further provides a detailed description of the property-improving modification techniques/methods using low-temperature plasma, electrical discharge, and ultraviolet radiation. Potential future applications of these techniques are discussed.
As always, any comments are welcome.
[Edited at 2010-07-14 14:19 GMT]
[Edited at 2010-07-14 14:27 GMT] ▲ Collapse
| | | | Linda Yang
Local time: 03:24
anglais vers chinois
+ ...
| Version One 更地道 | Jul 15, 2010 |
严复在《译例言》中提出译事三难：信、达、雅。求其信已大难矣，顾信矣不达，虽译犹不译也，则达尚焉。“信”指意义不背原文，即译文要准确，不歪曲，不遗漏，也不要随意增减意思；“达”指不拘泥于原文形式，译文通顺明白;“雅”则指译文时选用的词语要得体，简明优雅。
如果受限于各种因素，我们的翻译至少要做到“信”。
关于 Version Two, 如�... See more 严复在《译例言》中提出译事三难：信、达、雅。求其信已大难矣，顾信矣不达，虽译犹不译也，则达尚焉。“信”指意义不背原文，即译文要准确，不歪曲，不遗漏，也不要随意增减意思；“达”指不拘泥于原文形式，译文通顺明白;“雅”则指译文时选用的词语要得体，简明优雅。
如果受限于各种因素，我们的翻译至少要做到“信”。
关于 Version Two, 如果只是针对字面意思，如下疑问等待楼主解答：
1. solid background：是否可特指“扎实的专业知识”？还是他在业界具有某种特殊的背景？
2. open-minded：思想开明，是否等同于“善于接受新生事物”？
3. outstanding student：优秀的学生。“比较突出”和“优秀”是否同一概念？
4. because：比较突出是由于这些做法？个人理解，“不仅…而且”是“比较突出”的表现。
5. really of originality：怪怪的用法。是否楼主独创？
6. liberal mind：开明的思想。与open-minded 混淆。
7. meticulousness, objectivity：是否能够准确地传达原文的意思？
8. excellent analytical skills：excellent 是否能表示“较强”？
另：Version One 中 quick study 的用法，建议楼主查证后再做评述。
综合来讲，Version One 的确更有 native English 的味道。
kenny2006woo wrote:
基于Nigerose的意见，我修改了下译文。新版本如下：
Having a solid background in his field, Mr. xxx is able to apply the fundamentals in a flexible way. He does well in independent study, is sharp, open-minded, and has great manual dexterity and experimental skills. During his period of study, he proved himself an outstanding student, not only because he was attentive in class, but more importantly, he was able to put forward views that were really of originality; his liberal mind, meticulousness, objectivity together with his excellent analytical skills always led him to the core of questions.
（之所以还是用过去时态是为了陈述客观。不知大家对时态有何看法。）
Thanks for any comments in advance.
Kenny
[Edited at 2010-07-08 04:32 GMT]
[Edited at 2010-07-08 04:56 GMT]
[Edited at 2010-07-15 03:20 GMT] ▲ Collapse
| | | | kenny2006woo (X)
Local time: 03:24
anglais vers chinois
AUTEUR DU FIL | Thanks for your time, Linda. | Jul 15, 2010 |
谢谢Linda评论，我又能从中获益，非常谢谢。你在1、4、6、7点中所提出的疑问，我重新思量，确有欠妥之处。“扎实的专业知识”似可翻译成 solid grounding, 不知你意下如何。至于第四点，我认为你说得对，但我认为，用”because”也无伤大雅。说到”meticulousness”，确实，这个词不足以表达“全面”的意思，要换个说法。“liberal mind”是用来译“思维活跃”的，我原译是“active m... See more 谢谢Linda评论，我又能从中获益，非常谢谢。你在1、4、6、7点中所提出的疑问，我重新思量，确有欠妥之处。“扎实的专业知识”似可翻译成 solid grounding, 不知你意下如何。至于第四点，我认为你说得对，但我认为，用”because”也无伤大雅。说到”meticulousness”，确实，这个词不足以表达“全面”的意思，要换个说法。“liberal mind”是用来译“思维活跃”的，我原译是“active mind”，后来，一位美国朋友看了译文，改成了“liberal mind”，看了你的评论，我查了词典，还真与“思维活跃”的意思相差甚远。
严复老先生所提出的“信”，我完全同意。但我认为“信”不是拘泥原文字面，而是用流畅的译入语传达出原文的意思。我并不认为把“善于接受新生事物”翻译成“be good at accepting new things”是上策。一个open-minded的人一定是善于接受新生事物的。你在文中提到“比较”二字的翻译，是，我是故意省了未译。因为我考虑到中国人说话保守，就像很多大学问家满是学问，却非常谦虚，说自己没什么学问。我想，如果这是一个美国老师写的推荐信的话，他一定不会这么保守的。一个老师愿意为他的学生写推荐信，说明这个学生确实非常优秀。你还提到了“of originality”，这并非我独创，英文中有“of + noun”的用法，相当于形容词，就像“of help”。最后你提到“a quick study”，这个是我先前就查过词典的，朗文词典的解释是，“（informal）someone who learns things quickly。”按意思是学得快的人。
每个批评我译文的人我都非常感激，因为要批评是要思考的，不是空口讲。再次谢谢Linda。
[Edited at 2010-07-15 04:23 GMT] ▲ Collapse
| | | | nigerose
Chine
Local time: 03:24
chinois vers anglais
+ ...
kenny2006woo wrote:
This paper/thesis presents an overview of the effects of surface modifications on certain properties of macromolecular/polymer/polymeric materials. It further provides a detailed description of the property-improving modification techniques/methods using low-temperature plasma, electrical discharge, and ultraviolet radiation. Potential future applications of these techniques are discussed.
As always, any comments are welcome.
[Edited at 2010-07-14 14:19 GMT]
[Edited at 2010-07-14 14:27 GMT]
楼主作为学生，现阶段可以多阅读英文书籍，看多了，翻译自然就容易了。你现在的条件比我们当初好多了。
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kenny2006woo (X)
Local time: 03:24
anglais vers chinois
AUTEUR DU FIL
nigerose wrote:
楼主作为学生，现阶段可以多阅读英文书籍，看多了，翻译自然就容易了。你现在的条件比我们当初好多了。
谢谢Nigerose指教，现在正在看《Vanity Fair》和一本心理学的书Elliot Aronson的 《The Social Animal》。我的专业没学好，本来买了本《Polymer Science and Technology》，但我想先看看中文课本，再看这本书。
| | | | nigerose
Chine
Local time: 03:24
chinois vers anglais
+ ...
kenny2006woo wrote: nigerose wrote:
楼主作为学生，现阶段可以多阅读英文书籍，看多了，翻译自然就容易了。你现在的条件比我们当初好多了。 谢谢Nigerose指教，现在正在看《Vanity Fair》和一本心理学的书Elliot Aronson的 《The Social Animal》。我的专业没学好，本来买了本《Polymer Science and Technology》，但我想先看看中文课本，再看这本书。
谈不上指教。这里高手很多，但大多忙于赚钱或者享受。书本却不会对你不耐烦。
| | | | kenny2006woo (X)
Local time: 03:24
anglais vers chinois
AUTEUR DU FIL
nigerose wrote:
谈不上指教。这里高手很多，但大多忙于赚钱或者享受。书本却不会对你不耐烦。
谢谢，我会多看的。
| | | | Nathan Cheng
Chine
Local time: 03:24
anglais vers chinois
+ ...
是否方便向原作者或相关人士打听一下文中的主角是谁 然后把第一句的He换成人名？或者 人名打听不到的话 This student是否会更好？
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kenny2006woo (X)
Local time: 03:24
anglais vers chinois
AUTEUR DU FIL
nathanc wrote:
是否方便向原作者或相关人士打听一下文中的主角是谁 然后把第一句的He换成人名？或者 人名打听不到的话 This student是否会更好？
同意阁下意见。最好是换成人名，但这份试译稿不是全文，如果是全文的话，应该是能知道这位学子的名字的。
| | | | redred
Chine
Local time: 03:24
anglais vers chinois
+ ...
| 看到but only, but (also)，要倒装吧 | Aug 10, 2010 |
引用：Mr. xxx proved himself a good student during his study, not only because he was attentive in class, but more importantly, he was able to put forward views that were really initiative
http://www.kaoshi365.com/cet3/show_887_2987.html
2. not only … but also 连接两个分句，并且 not only 位于句首时，第一个分句中的主语和谓语要部分倒装... See more 引用：Mr. xxx proved himself a good student during his study, not only because he was attentive in class, but more importantly, he was able to put forward views that were really initiative
http://www.kaoshi365.com/cet3/show_887_2987.html
2. not only … but also 连接两个分句，并且 not only 位于句首时，第一个分句中的主语和谓语要部分倒装。例如：
Not only does the sun give us light but also it gives us heat.
Not only did he speak English correctly， but also he speaks it fluently.
Not only is this young man clever but also he is hardworking. ▲ Collapse
| | | | kenny2006woo (X)
Local time: 03:24
anglais vers chinois
AUTEUR DU FIL
redred wrote: 引用：Mr. xxx proved himself a good student during his study, not only because he was attentive in class, but more importantly, he was able to put forward views that were really initiative http://www.kaoshi365.com/cet3/show_887_2987.html 2. not only … but also 连接两个分句，并且 not only 位于句首时，第一个分句中的主语和谓语要部分倒装。例如： Not only does the sun give us light but also it gives us heat. Not only did he speak English correctly， but also he speaks it fluently. Not only is this young man clever but also he is hardworking.
多谢Redred指教，不过原文中的结构跟你说的结构有所不同。我在克罗地亚政府的官方网站上找到了一个例句："What we are doing is not only in order to meet EU membership criteria, but for our own sake as well.
地址：http://www.vlada.hr/en/naslovnica/novosti_i_najave/2008/ozujak/predsjednik_vlade_reforme_nisu_samo_zbog_eu_a_nego_zbog_drustva_u_cjelini
原文里的not only修饰的是句子的状语成分，所以我认为，不必倒装。
另外，原文里的initiative是我当初写错了，呵呵，我后来查单词才知道应该是innovative.
[Edited at 2010-08-10 10:09 GMT]
[Edited at 2010-08-10 10:09 GMT]
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