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Off topic: Completely frivolous thread
Thread poster: Tom in London
P.L.F. Persio
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Today Nov 4, 2020

First things first: guarisci presto! to Angie's son, and solidarity to Angie. That's the downside of having children: you always worry, some times more than others. Stay strong and safe, Angie, he's lucky to have you.

Also, I'm reluctant to read the news from the other side of the pond today. There's a news I dread, whereas the other one doesn't fill me with excitement and hope either. Then again, the least of two evils and all that.

I hope to cheer you up all a
... See more
First things first: guarisci presto! to Angie's son, and solidarity to Angie. That's the downside of having children: you always worry, some times more than others. Stay strong and safe, Angie, he's lucky to have you.

Also, I'm reluctant to read the news from the other side of the pond today. There's a news I dread, whereas the other one doesn't fill me with excitement and hope either. Then again, the least of two evils and all that.

I hope to cheer you up all a little with a silly thing I wrote yesterday. I was inspired by our wondrous Mervyn, and influenced by his style. Here it is:

My Brief Stint As An International Woman Of Mystery – Part I

Moscow, second half of the Eighties. I had been summoned by my instructor down KGB Lubyanka HQ, after I had more or less successfully completed my training as a ... well, you know what.
I was told Lieutenant Colonel Ivan Humpalot was waiting for me the next day, for a drink and a chat, as a traditional send-off for graduates. It was a huge honour, they said, dress appropriately. In my uniform?, I asked. Mmh, no, not really, something more casual, relaxed, that shows a bit of leg, or a bit of cleavage. Actually, showing both would be better.

Tsk tsk, I thought, men! They can't get their pretty little heads around the basic concepts of Chic and Elegance. You cannot show both at the same time, it's fashion sense 101! And why should I show them, anyway? Well, you're the boss, and if I've ever learned something here, it is not to question what the boss says.
(Back then, sexism was rife, alive and kicking. And it was the right kind of testosterone-fuelled, horse-sweat-smelling, cigar-chewing, tough sexism, not the hormonally-drenched, stilettoed, all-pink-lipgloss-and-frilly-knickers-kind of lame sexism, so pervasive today.)

I decided to go for a cheeky bit of cleavage. The fact is that – being as short as I am – showing a bit of leg means showing the whole of it, and that would be an overkill. Be subtle P.L.F., stay classy, I said to myself, studying the overall effect reflected in the mirror.

Wasn't I half surprised when, instead of being greeted by Lt. Col. Humpalot in his grand office, I was ushered in what was known as The Alcove, a small room with no particularly interesting architectural features, except for a queen size bed, two chairs, a small table with a samovar on it, two fine bone china cups with matching teapot, and a mahogany tea caddy.
We had become aware of the Alcove existence thanks to our teacher of English Languages & Vernaculars (yep, that's right), the poshest toff you could ever imagine, called simply The Brit. We didn't know much about him, except that he'd probably found himself in Moscow with Kim Philby, and had a fondness for vodka and R&B music.
One afternoon, following a long liquid lunch, The Brit told us that he'd heard it through the grapevine that the HQ recesses hid a room where you could go, whenever you got that feeling and you needed sexual healing. It's a truth universally acknowledged that a day spent torturing and terrorising a whole nation plus its satellites puts you in a romantic, naughty mood.

I was quite naive as a young woman, and it took me five long minutes to understand that I was there in order to faire catleya with Humpalot, a huge, handsome man with a cunning smile.
He offered me a drink from his bottle of lukewarm Champanskoye, which I halfheartedly sipped, then sat on the bed: "Shall we?", he invited me.
And I faced what I had to face.

After a long, vigorous and not entirely unsatisfactory session of rough Russian rogering, he spoke. "Well hun, (he actually said голубушка – little dove – a common term of endearment), you're young, pink and perky enough to appeal to a certain kind of discerning gentleman, but with that pug-ugly mug of yours, you're not exactly honey trap material, are you?"
"Why, thank you ass...sir, I mean, спасибо comrade Lieutenant Colonel!"
"Hear me out малыш: comrade The Brit tells me that you're good at languages, so we're going to exploit your linguistic skills and flair, your literary prowess, as that son of an Albion bitch says, черт его возьми! Now make us a brew, treacle, that's a good girl. And don't get dressed just yet, I might be up for a second round, after I'll drink up my cuppa."



[Edited at 2020-11-04 09:03 GMT]

[Edited at 2020-11-04 09:10 GMT]
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Mervyn Henderson (X)
Christopher Schröder
expressisverbis
Beatriz Ramírez de Haro
 
Angie Garbarino
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Grazie mille! Nov 4, 2020

P.L.F.Persio wrote:

First things first: guarisci presto! to Angie's son, and solidarity to Angie. That's the downside of having children: you always worry, some times more than others. Stay strong and safe, Angie, he's lucky to have you.


Ciao!


P.L.F. Persio
expressisverbis
 
Mervyn Henderson (X)
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International Woman of Mystery Nov 4, 2020

It's not every day you get to take a butcher's at the boudoirs, bedrooms and bonkings of a bygone Bolshevik age by someone who lived to tell the tale. Luvvvvvvvittt!

[Edited at 2020-11-04 09:09 GMT]


P.L.F. Persio
expressisverbis
 
Christopher Schröder
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Roll on Part 2! Nov 4, 2020

Seems PLF was Biden her time to Trump you, Mervyn.

(OMG I’m turning into Tommy Frost, Punmaster-General of this parish...)


P.L.F. Persio
Mervyn Henderson (X)
expressisverbis
Thomas T. Frost
Angie Garbarino
Beatriz Ramírez de Haro
 
expressisverbis
expressisverbis
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Special and Unique Nov 4, 2020

There is something in every one of you that makes you so Special and Unique.
I need to thank you for that, and for being here!
Gratitude is one of the greatest gifts we can offer. So, here's my gift to you: a Trip Around The World!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYAiw_Q3yB4


Mervyn Henderson (X)
Angie Garbarino
P.L.F. Persio
Christopher Schröder
 
Mervyn Henderson (X)
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Trip around the world Nov 4, 2020

Thanks, Exy! On the motorway to Braga at one point, near you, too ...

expressisverbis
 
Thomas T. Frost
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Chouriço preto Nov 4, 2020

Chris S wrote:

(OMG I’m turning into Tommy Frost, Punmaster-General of this parish...)


Funny, I was just about to ask Sandra about how best to 'assaucissonner'¹ a meal with a Portuguese chouriço preto (chorizo made of black pigs) that I stumbled upon in Lidl the other day.

I didn't pay much attention to the preto part, which could look a bit like prêt à manger, and just presumed it would be much the same taste as a normal chorizo, but the taste turned out to be quite strong and particular.

I read somewhere that it can be grilled, but how do the Portuguese eat it? Any simple suggestions for a northerner ignorant about the Portuguese cuisine? Preferably something that doesn't take an entire weekend to cook or requires exotic ingredients from an ancient clan in a remote Portuguese province.

---------------------------
1) Home-made combination of the French verb assaisonner ('season') and saucisson (air-dried sausage) – my daughter keeps telling me there's no such word.


expressisverbis
P.L.F. Persio
 
expressisverbis
expressisverbis
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In reply to the lifestyle thread Nov 4, 2020

I think it's better to reply to you here.

Matthias:
Thank you, “Verby” also works perfectly!
Don’t wear sunglasses in your photo, people say eyes are the windows of our soul and they need to be visible. Sun can hurt light-colored eyes I know it, but you don't need it.
Yes, I’m fishing some food American English terms here!

Chris:
That’s exactly what my endocrinologist said. The difficult part is not quitting but not starting to smoke ag
... See more
I think it's better to reply to you here.

Matthias:
Thank you, “Verby” also works perfectly!
Don’t wear sunglasses in your photo, people say eyes are the windows of our soul and they need to be visible. Sun can hurt light-colored eyes I know it, but you don't need it.
Yes, I’m fishing some food American English terms here!

Chris:
That’s exactly what my endocrinologist said. The difficult part is not quitting but not starting to smoke again. Do not worry, you put it in a very elegant way... and I am starting to enjoy Swedish!
I agree with all that you said about competition.

Mervyn:
Braga is an important and nice city, we call it the "Portuguese Rome" among other names, due to its many and beautiful churches. Here you can also go fishing with Matthias with the sunglasses!
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Matthias Brombach
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expressisverbis
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Prêt à manger :-D Nov 4, 2020

Thomas T. Frost wrote:

Chris S wrote:

(OMG I’m turning into Tommy Frost, Punmaster-General of this parish...)


Funny, I was just about to ask Sandra about how best to 'assaucissonner'¹ a meal with a Portuguese chouriço preto (chorizo made of black pigs) that I stumbled upon in Lidl the other day.

I didn't pay much attention to the preto part, which could look a bit like prêt à manger, and just presumed it would be much the same taste as a normal chorizo, but the taste turned out to be quite strong and particular.

I read somewhere that it can be grilled, but how do the Portuguese eat it? Any simple suggestions for a northerner ignorant about the Portuguese cuisine? Preferably something that doesn't take an entire weekend to cook or requires exotic ingredients from an ancient clan in a remote Portuguese province.

---------------------------
1) Home-made combination of the French verb assaisonner ('season') and saucisson (air-dried sausage) – my daughter keeps telling me there's no such word.



Thomas, I believe the "chouriço preto" that you eat is the one from Alentejo. This one can have a stronger taste.
We call it also "chouriço de carne" (meat chorizo).
http://bebidasecomidas.eu/catalog/delicatessen/567-black-iberian-pork-sausage-chorizo.html
I will investigate more...


Thomas T. Frost
 
Mervyn Henderson (X)
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@P.L.F.Persio Nov 4, 2020

Do forgive my ignorance. I am a person who doesn't go shopping very often. Perhaps once every five years, and always pushed into it. Fashion Sense 101? I looked it up rather sneakily, feeling pretty daft. Couldn't figure out whether it was a place or an expression. Nothing I found confirmed anything. And I felt dafter because one page said All products pre-loved or used items. Pre-loved? (I had to look that one up too) Does the 101 thing just mean the bestest fashion there is? I want to be able ... See more
Do forgive my ignorance. I am a person who doesn't go shopping very often. Perhaps once every five years, and always pushed into it. Fashion Sense 101? I looked it up rather sneakily, feeling pretty daft. Couldn't figure out whether it was a place or an expression. Nothing I found confirmed anything. And I felt dafter because one page said All products pre-loved or used items. Pre-loved? (I had to look that one up too) Does the 101 thing just mean the bestest fashion there is? I want to be able to say it to someone, you see, all casual.

[Edited at 2020-11-04 13:29 GMT]
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expressisverbis
P.L.F. Persio
 
Tom in London
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Pre-loved Nov 4, 2020

Pre-loved means it comes from a loved one. A loved one means a dead person.

 
Thomas T. Frost
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Here is the beast Nov 4, 2020

expressisverbis wrote:

Thomas, I believe the "chouriço preto" that you eat is the one from Alentejo. This one can have a stronger taste.
We call it also "chouriço de carne" (meat chorizo).
http://bebidasecomidas.eu/catalog/delicatessen/567-black-iberian-pork-sausage-chorizo.html
I will investigate more...



Here is the beast, Sandra. Do you need a DNA sample to identify it?

It has blood in it, so I hope it doesn't turn me into a vampire. Maybe this is a revamped version of the classic chorizo. 'We'll bloody well show the punters how to make a chorizo.'

I thought all chorizos had meat in them.

And by the way, in case you're ever in Germany, you need to know that Hackepeter (literally: 'minced Peter'), also known as Mett, is a dish based on raw minced pork meat – a bit like the French steak tartare, which sometimes catches tourists out by surprise, except that the latter is made of beef or horse. Barbarian.

IMG_20201104_141108589


expressisverbis
P.L.F. Persio
 
expressisverbis
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"Morcela" or black pudding Nov 4, 2020

Thomas T. Frost wrote:

expressisverbis wrote:

Thomas, I believe the "chouriço preto" that you eat is the one from Alentejo. This one can have a stronger taste.
We call it also "chouriço de carne" (meat chorizo).
http://bebidasecomidas.eu/catalog/delicatessen/567-black-iberian-pork-sausage-chorizo.html
I will investigate more...



Here is the beast, Sandra. Do you need a DNA sample to identify it?

It has blood in it, so I hope it doesn't turn me into a vampire. Maybe this is a revamped version of the classic chorizo. 'We'll bloody well show the punters how to make a chorizo.'

I thought all chorizos had meat in them.

And by the way, in case you're ever in Germany, you need to know that Hackepeter (literally: 'minced Peter'), also known as Mett, is a dish based on raw minced pork meat – a bit like the French steak tartare, which sometimes catches tourists out by surprise, except that the latter is made of beef or horse. Barbarian.

IMG_20201104_141108589


Oh, I knew it was the black pudding! It is what we call here "morcela" or "chouriço de sangue"
Don't worry, there are no Portuguese vampires
No, I haven't been in Germany... yet... but I'll try the "minced Peter"

Below you can find a few Portuguese dishes you can try. Portuguese put "chouriço" in almost every dish, but our chorizos are not so spicy or stronger like the Spanish chorizos.

“Caldo verde” (I think we don't have a translation for this, so the literal one is "Green Soup"):
It is a typical soup made with shredded cabbage or turnip tops, thickened with potato and garnished with olive oil and a slice of chorizo.

“Arroz de pato” (Duck Rice):
Another typical Portuguese recipe that has its roots in the city of Braga, in the North of Portugal.
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/portuguese-duck-rice

“Tripas à moda do Porto” (Tripe in the style of Porto):
This dish has a story: it is a symbol of the Oporto people’s generosity as according to the legend when Henry, the Navigator, was preparing his ships to conquer Ceuta in 1415. He asked the people of Oporto to donate supplies to stock the Portuguese navy and they did, in such an extent, that all that was left to eat was tripe. However, that did not mean starvation for the people; instead they used imagination to create this amazing recipe, which granted them the nickname of “tripeiros” or “tripe eaters” (meaning "native of Oporto").
http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/11409/portuguese-chorizo-stew.aspx

"Pão com Chouriço" (Chorizo Rolls):
I think this is one of my favourites, and it's easy to prepare!
http://globaltableadventure.com/recipe/chorizo-rolls-pao-com-chourico/

Bon Appétit !



[Edited at 2020-11-04 14:21 GMT]


Thomas T. Frost
P.L.F. Persio
Mervyn Henderson (X)
 
Thomas T. Frost
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Chouriço preto Nov 4, 2020

Thanks, Sandra, that's very helpful. Those bread rolls look easy to make – and will indeed be prêt à manger when ready. I'll try that.

There's a place in Provence where they have six ovens on the beach (Six-Fours-les-Plages). That'd be a good place for producing these things.


expressisverbis
 
P.L.F. Persio
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101 Nov 4, 2020

Mervyn Henderson wrote:

Do forgive my ignorance. I am a person who doesn't go shopping very often. Perhaps once every five years, and always pushed into it. Fashion Sense 101? I looked it up rather sneakily, feeling pretty daft. Couldn't figure out whether it was a place or an expression. Nothing I found confirmed anything. And I felt dafter because one page said All products pre-loved or used items. Pre-loved? (I had to look that one up too) Does the 101 thing just mean the bestest fashion there is? I want to be able to say it to someone, you see, all casual.

[Edited at 2020-11-04 13:29 GMT]


My bad Mervyn, I shouldn't play with the English language just yet. Must do better. Maybe I should say just fashion 101?

101: showing the most basic knowledge about a subject: You should know how to boil an egg - that's cooking 101.
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/101

I meant that you don't have to be a fashion guru to know that you either show one asset or the other, not all the goods at once, because that would be ordinaire and unladylike.

Having said that, feel free to strut your stuff any time you like. I'm no fashion police.


expressisverbis
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